“Is My Cat a Prisoner? And Other Ethical Questions About Our Pets.” — Headline from The Cut’s recent Pet Ethics issue.
“Is It Bad That I Stopped Loving My Cat After I Buried Him in the Mi’kmaq Burial Ground, and He Came Back Wrong?”1
“Am I Forcing My Dog to Rescue My Son from Wells?”2
“Why I Wish I’d Loved My Puppy Less, So He Didn’t Grow Up to Be the Size of a Literal House”3
“Our Dog Loves Our Children. So Why Shouldn’t She Act as Their Full-Time Nanny?”4
“What Does Your Vet and His Parrot Receptionist Really Say to Your Pet Behind Your Back?”5
“Are Four Legs Still Good If Two Are Better?”6
“Should One Fish Really Be Allowed to Be Shinier Than the Others?”7
“My Niece’s Best Friend Is a Pig. Why Do I Still Want to Eat Him?”8
“Are Dogs Prisoners If We Don’t Sell Them to Pull Sleds Across the Yukon?”9
“Are We Lying to Ourselves That It’s Humane to Keep Twelve Penguins in a Locked Basement?”10
“How Agonizing Is It to Be a Mouse Who Is Also My Son?”11
“Does My Horse Hate It When I Lift Him over My Head with One Hand?”12
“Does My Dog Hate It When I Force Him to Solve Spooky Mysteries in a Van?”13
“Does My Dog Really Hate It When I Interrupt Him While He’s Acting Out a Period Drama from Classic Literature in a Tiny Waistcoat?”14
“Not to Go on All-Fours; That Is the Law. Are We Not Men?”15
1 Pet Sematary by Stephen King
2 Lassie (adapted from Lassie Come Home by Eric Knight)
3 Clifford the Big Red Dog by Norman Bridwell
4 Peter Pan by J. M. Barrie
5 The Story of Dr. Dolittle by Hugh Lofting
6 Animal Farm by George Orwell
7 The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister
8 Charlotte’s Web by E. B. White
9 The Call of the Wild by Jack London
10 Mister Popper’s Penguins by Florence and Richard Atwater
11 Stuart Little by E. B. White
12 Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren
13 Scooby-Doo, Where Are You! by Joe Ruby and Ken Spears
14 Wishbone by Multiple Authors
15 The Island of Doctor Moreau by H. G. Wells