“I’m Fine”
Of course, I’m not fine.
I am sick of asking you.
Load the dishwasher.
“You Look Tired Today”
Okay, it’s my turn.
You look tired today, David.
How does it feel now?
“I Can’t Find It”
Did you look for it?
Did you really look for it?
Did you even try?
“I Think You’re Overreacting”
Seriously, Brad?
You are underreacting.
Maybe you suck ass.
“Don’t You Want to Have Kids Someday?”
And wreck my body,
my finances, and my life?
No thank you, Susan.
“She’s Crazy”
Oh, I understand.
So, you’re the problem. Not her.
I’d get that checked out.
“How Does It Feel to Have It All?”
Thank you for asking.
This is such a great question.
Honestly? It sucks.
“Wow, I Would Never Do That with My Kids”
Aw, so sweet of you!
Thank you for your opinion.
Now kindly fuck off.
“Get It, Girlboss!”
Hear me out. What if…
I don’t want to “get it,” kay?
I am exhausted.
“You’re a Strong, Independent Woman Who Doesn’t Need Anyone”
This is somehow worse
than the “girlboss” energy.
What if I need help?
“Oh, I’m Not Really Into Chick Lit”
That’s fine, Jeremy.
We all have our opinions.
I don’t read Dick Lit.