Now that we’ve elected a president who promises to make America great again, it’s time to bring back our traditional American values, including:
- Strict gender roles for men and women
- Christianity (white Jesus only; ignore any passages about the weak or poor)
- Classical architecture
- Growing our own vegetables (after farms collapse without undocumented workers)
- Canning our own foods (after the FDA stops regulating goods)
- Homeschooling (after public schools are defunded)
- Respect for elders (but no social services for them)
- Justice (for President Trump)
- Fairness (except for people of color, women, LGBTQ, disabled…)
- Abstinence until marriage
- Putting one hand over your heart when you recite the Pledge of Allegiance while looking at the American flag waving at a NASCAR game
- Apple pie
- Cold beer on a Friday night
- Measles
Belief in the rule of law and a democratic system of checks and balances instilled by the framers of our Constitution to prevent the United States from falling into the corrupt hands of a wannabe dictator bent on selling the nation for scraps- Square dancing