Jokes by Brian Beatty: Money Shot - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Internet Tendency

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

Job Postings

Have a background in journalism? We’re looking for part-time help on an upcoming project. Students are encouraged to apply. Click for details.

Money can’t buy you love. But it will pay for delicious glazed doughnuts that, with a little practice, you can learn to slide up and down a penis.

Jokes
Money

Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.

Become a patron

Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack

Suggested Reads

April 13, 2001

Christ Goes to Happy Hour

by Duane Swierczynski
October 29, 2009

Terrible Poetry Jokes

by Peter LaVelle
March 18, 1999

Say it Ain’t So, Joe(y): The Takedown

by Matt Sullivan
August 23, 2024

A Magician’s Venmo Transaction History

by Tom Achilles

Trending 🔥

December 4, 2024

Your 2024 Therapy Wrapped

by Sasha Lubomirsky, Topher Lin, and Chan Lin
December 3, 2024

A Faculty Member’s Self-Evaluation at the End of the Semester

by B. McNulty
December 6, 2024

We Need to Save the Men

by Ginny Hogan
December 10, 2024

A Typical First Date with a Guy in Boston, Chicago, or New York

by Jus Kaplan, Jonah Nink, and Jack Stebbins

Recently

December 20, 2024

Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists

by Amanda Lehr
December 20, 2024

An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year

by Ali Fitzgerald
December 19, 2024

An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her

by Una LaMarche
December 19, 2024

A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker

by Jeff Bender