Money can’t buy you love. But it will pay for delicious glazed doughnuts that, with a little practice, you can learn to slide up and down a penis.
Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.
McSweeney's 74
The stunning Art Spiegelman-illustrated lunchbox that is McSweeney’s 74 is a finalist for the National Magazine Award in Design! Congratulations to Art and to all involved in bringing this masterpiece to life.
Trending 🔥
-
February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
-
February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
-
February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
-
February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
-
February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
-
February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
-
February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
-
February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally