My Unabridged Vocabulary at Thirteen Months, Which, Unhappily, Foreshadows the Next 302 - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

Internet Tendency

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

Daily humor almost every day since 1998.

ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE

Young reader in your life? Subscribe to Illustoria magazine today. Recognized by The New York Times as a best gift for kids!

Nice
Pretty
Juice
Hello
Hiya
Good girl

Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.

Become a patron

Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack

Suggested Reads

February 17, 2006

Alternative Answers To Some Of The Cornell Center For Materials Research’s “Ask A Scientist!” Student E Mails

by Blake Butler
August 2, 2004

The Exploding Boy

by Nick Parker
October 11, 2000

Kids Say the Darnedest Things

by Dan Kennedy
May 14, 2024

I’m the Word “Utilize” and I’m Loving Every Moment of Your Overblown Rhetoric

by Christina Wang

Trending 🔥

October 15, 2024

I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About

by Sam Woods
September 20, 2024

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

by Colin Nissan
August 19, 2024

Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056

by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, Kelsey Ronan, John McMurtrie, Sophia DuRose, Rachel Villa, and Amy Sumerton
October 28, 2024

The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets

by Katryn Bury

Recently

November 1, 2024

I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6

by Lauren Thoman
November 1, 2024

270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq

by Aquilino Gonell
November 1, 2024

Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches

by Devorah Blachor
October 31, 2024

This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner

by Matthew Brian Cohen