Objection, your honor! It’s getting toward the end of this movie about a trial, and it’s time for me to rise from my chair and make one last heartfelt speech about why my client is innocent.

Now, I know the events leading up to this moment have all but confirmed this case is doomed. We’ve had numerous obstacles and curveballs thrown at us by the prosecution. Every promising lead turned into a dead end. I’ve struggled to overcome interpersonal conflict with my defense team. At times, I’ve made poor decisions consistent with my character flaws.

I’ve had to take a hard look at my personal issues. But I want you to know something, judge and prosecution lead attorney/love interest I’m trying to win over, and it’s this: I’ve overcome these flaws and combined that with my already-existing positive character traits to become a better person. Heck, I’ve even learned a thing or two about what justice actually means in the broadest sense of the word.

You see, not long ago, when everything reached peak hopeless, someone mentioned something very innocuous. Something that jogged my memory and sparked a connection to a seemingly innocent moment from earlier in the trial. I snapped into action at this final shot at redemption. I breathlessly gave my team orders even though they were visibly flummoxed. In fact, they still don’t understand fully what’s going on and their every trust in me hangs in the balance. You see I didn’t have enough time to explain what was going through my head, I only had the exact amount of time needed to procure this bag of evidence I am now holding in the air. I hear the prosecution scoff that I’ve once again missed the mark with another red herring, but as soon as I seamlessly articulate its subtle, yet irrefutable and incriminating connection to the crime at hand, everyone in this court room will understand it proves my client is innocent.

While the opposing prosecution is now trying to shut me up by forcefully objecting about something related to proper procedure, I’m going to shout her down because I’ve just poured a full tank of gasoline into the metaphorical steamroller of justice, and I’m not getting off until I’ve paved this courtroom with righteousness.

Your honor, I rest my case, and I await your banging of the gavel to silence the ensuing hubbub from this shocked, packed court room!