Are you going to Scarborough Faire?
Yeah, I was planning on it. You want me to pick something up for you?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
Okay, sure. No problem. Anything else?
Remember me to one who was there…
You mean like say hi to somebody for you? Okay. Uh… who?
She once was a true love of mine.
So Brenda then. Okay, I will tell her you said hey, but if you want my opinion, you really need to let that one go.
Tell her to knit me a cambric shirt.
So that feels like a big ask even if you were still together, uh definitely not something I would do for my ex…
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
Yup, got the herbs — thanks for the reminder. Less sold on this whole “ask Brenda to knit you a shirt” thing, though.
Without any seam or needlework…
Wait, is this like a commission? Are you offering to pay her for this, or…
Then she’ll be a true love of mine.
Okay, so I think you are, like, vastly misjudging who has the power in this relationship. She dumped you, remember?
Tell her to find me an acre of land.
Oh, that’s right, she just got her real estate license. You should probably reach out to her about that yourself, though. Honestly, I was just offering to get groceries, so…
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
Yup, got those, don’t need to keep telling me. Do you need anything else, grocery-wise?
Between the salt water and the sea strands…
Okay, no, I am not going to run any more messages between you and your ex-girlfriend/ seamstress/ real estate agent. If you want to talk to Brenda, you’re going to have to go over there and do it yourself.
Then she’ll be a true love of mine.
You really don’t know much about romance, do you?
Tell her to reap it with a sickle of leather.
Whoa there, TMI, man, TMI.
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
You know what? No. You can get your own damn herbs.
And gather it all with a bundle of heather.
Who the fuck is Heather?
Then she’ll be a true love of mine.
Who will? Brenda or Heather? Actually, I don’t care. I’m not enabling this behavior.
Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
You know what, no. I’m just gonna go to Stop & Shop.
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme.
I honestly doubt they’ll have all that
Remember me to one who was there.
You have a girl at the Stop & Shop too? Seriously?
She once was a true love of mine.
Maybe I should talk to Brenda because I’m starting to feel like I need to get my own place.