Feng shui: Lives in shack furnished entirely with inflatable furniture.
Breeding chinchillas: Already breeds Chihuahuas.
Avon lady: Losing teeth from scurvy.
Local politics: Was arrested for firing gun into air to scare off trespassing journalists.
Couples’ motorcycle club: Husband in state psychiatric hospital/prison after shooting at and missing religious cult leader.
Dining out: Always brings her own potato.
Knitting: Was a Branch Davidian in the 80s.