11/24/2012
RE: Friendly Reminder for 356 Greenleaf Rd.
Dear Mr. Avery,
As you know, Millbrook Estates Homeowners Association is designed to preserve and enhance the property values of homes within our community. Unfortunately, it has been observed that your lawn is in need of some maintenance, specifically: OBSERVED AN ARMY OF 127 TOWERING ROBOTS PLACED UPON FRONT, SIDE AND BACK YARD. PLEASE REMOVE.
Each owner within our association is required to keep his or her house and yard attractive and well maintained, and your robot army regrettably presents an undesirable clutter. In addition, although no one has yet complained, there is the possibility that others in the community may find the subject matter offensive, as was our fear last Christmas when we had Mrs. Sullivan take down her nativity scene.
We do not know if the sudden appearance of your robot army was due to a late-night delivery or if you have been secretly constructing it in your basement for many months or years, but we appreciate your efforts to quickly resolve the matter.
Sincerely,
Board of Directors
Millbrook Estates HOA
11/26/2012
RE: Notice of Violation at 356 Greenleaf Rd.
Mr. Avery,
We recently issued a friendly reminder indicating there was an issue that required your attention (i.e., removal from your premises of unsightly robot army). We assume your failure to comply was merely an oversight, as was the addition, to each of these prohibited items, of shoulder-mounted flamethrowers.
You are not receiving a fine with this notice, but if the matter referenced above is not rectified by noon tomorrow, the Board will be forced to impose a minimum daily fine of $25 for this type of violation.
Thank you for helping to keep Millbrook Estates a pleasant and attractive place to live.
Sincerely,
Board of Directors
Millbrook Estates HOA
11/28/2012
RE: Robot Army at 356 Greenleaf Rd.
Mr. Avery,
A review of your property indicated that the conditions surrounding your violation have been further exacerbated by your painting each member of your robot army a fiery orange, an unappealing color which many of your fellow homeowners have complained about.
We remind you that the Board must pre-approve any proposed change in color to fencing or exterior structures. Due to the ongoing nature of your violation(s), we have no choice but to impose daily fines and administrative sanctions against you. These fines will continue until it is determined that the situation has been satisfactorily resolved, or until the Board decides it necessary to cancel your involvement in our association.
Sincerely,
Board of Directors
Millbrook Estates HOA
11/29/2012
RE: Notice of Payment Received
Dear Mr. Avery,
Thank you for complying with our wishes and removing the disagreeable clutter from your property. Thanks also for the prompt and full payment of your fines.
As you may or may not know, the cities and towns surrounding our community are currently in the process of being systematically destroyed by a wave of unstoppable killing machines. Although the devastation continues to expand outward with no foreseeable end in sight, please take note that Millbrook Estates remains a pleasant and attractive place to live, and will continue to be so as long as we all stay diligent in our efforts to keep it this way.
Sincerely,
Board of Directors
Millbrook Estates HOA
P.S. We have received your request to build an addition to your house, which will transform it into a “soaring, impenetrable castle/fortress unparalleled in the history of the earth.” The Board is currently reviewing this proposal and will get back to you in six to eight weeks.