Really, Everything is Going Great at My Tech Startup. I Just Have Some Payroll Questions

To: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
From: Dave@Zocroft.co
Time: 8:15AM; Thursday, July 27

Hi Kathy!

Forgive the delay, things are just crazy over here at Zocroft! #Deals I’ve attached this week’s payroll as usual. Gotta get the team paid! Crushing it!

To: Dave@Zocroft.co
From: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
Time: 9:33AM; Thursday, July 27

Hello Dave,

Great to hear things are going well. Just to clarify, I see you didn’t include yourself in this pay cycle. Was this done in error?

To: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
From: Dave@Zocroft.co
Time: 9:34AM; Thursday, July 27

Hey Girl!

lol, you’re always on top of it! No, just trying to put the team first. #BossGoals Loving this ride so much it doesn’t even feel like work.

To: Dave@Zocroft.co
From: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
Time: 9:33AM; Thursday, July 27

Hello Dave,

OK, I will get this processed today as you sent it. Thank you and have a good weekend!

To: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
From: Dave@Zocroft.co
Time: 9:35AM; Thursday, July 27

Hey Kathy,

Just asking generally, really doesn’t matter right now, but I’m curious, do you know how immediate the cash needs to be in our bank account for payroll to process? Work’s so crazy I haven’t even been able to get to the bank to deposit all these fat checks sitting on my desk. #CantStopWontStop

To: Dave@Zocroft.co
From: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
Time: 9:42AM; Thursday, July 27

Hello Dave,

It is imperative that the company account have the full amount to be processed immediately. Do you want me to delay processing payroll? I need to know by 1 PM EST.

To: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
From: Dave@Zocroft.co
Time: 1:15PM; Thursday, July 27

Hi Kath,

Forgive my delay, I just had an interview to appear on Shark Tank later this year and to celebrate I put some time on our company slide! :) #BeThankful I was just thinking it would be really #onBrand for us at Zocroft if we threw a major party to celebrate how much we’ve been killing it these last couple weeks. #WorkHardPlayHard We do this sort of thing all the time and all the Zocrofters always want to contribute something. They really don’t have to since we’re like printing money over here but it means a lot to them. So change of plans: let’s go ahead and just run payroll like normal but let’s just cut everything by half. Thanks! Hope your weekend is chill!

To: Dave@Zocroft.co
From: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
Time: 1:33PM; Thursday, July 27

Hello Dave,

If I understand correctly, you want me to reduce by half all of the salaries in the payroll register submission you made this morning? Once you confirm, I can process that by 3 pm.

To: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
From: Dave@Zocroft.co
Time: 2:15PM; Thursday, July 27

Hi Kath,

Very cool, you got it. But is there anyway to have it clear closer to 10 pm? Going to try to see if I have a bag big enough to carry over all these checks to the bank! Haha you know what that’s like! #MoMoneyMoProblems

To: Dave@Zocroft.co
From: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
Time: 3:03PM; Thursday, July 27

Hello Dave,

No, we only process payments at one time. That is 5 pm. Again, you must have the full total in the bank account to avoid additional charges and penalties.

To: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
From: Dave@Zocroft.co
Time: 3:35PM; Thursday, July 27

Haha, OK Kath,

No worries. Gotta make sure we party hard! I’m thinking we’ll probably have 2-3 DJs and really money isn’t even the problem. I’m not sure if we can fit all the people we’ll have coming in our office! Let me know if you have any great bands. Why don’t we just run payroll but do like a third of normal. Just to be safe. Thanks!

To: Dave@Zocroft.co
From: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
Time: 4:05PM; Thursday, July 27

Hello Dave,

To confirm, I still should not include you this cycle?

To: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
From: Dave@Zocroft.co
Time: 4:32PM; Thursday, July 27

Hi Kathy,

Haha, yeah I wasn’t even thinking about that. It’s probably just easier for you to leave me off because you already set it up that way. #AlwaysHustle Have a great weekend!

To: Dave@Zocroft.co
From: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
Time: 4:33PM; Thursday, July 27

Hello Dave,

It would be no problem to add you back to this cycle. I just need your final decision by 5 PM EST.

To: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
From: Dave@Zocroft.co
Time: 4:42PM; Thursday, July 27

Hi Kathy,

On second thought, here’s something funny: Can you actually withdraw $500 from everyone’s accounts and reverse it into the company account? I know what you’re thinking: “Dave, that’s illegal! I could lose my job!” But that’s because you just don’t get that #startuplife. Everyone will get such a laugh at it. This is your chance to be part of something truly special! We’ll give the money back right away, like in two to three weeks. Really, we’re a family! They’re always like “Dave, I’d want to be a Zocrofter even if I wasn’t getting paid at all.” Now’s their chance! We call that #GreatCulture!

To: Dave@Zocroft.co
From: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
Time: 5:05PM; Thursday, July 27

Hello Dave,

I’m going to hold off processing payroll at this time.

To: Kathy.McPherson@PayrollDoneRite.com
From: Dave@Zocroft.co
Time: 5:15PM; Thursday, July 27

Fair enough! Thanks Kathy. Get out there and kill it!