Early October Interview
TRUMP: Ducks are reptiles!
REPORTER: Uh, you’re saying that ducks and reptiles are both animals?
TRUMP: No, I’m telling you. Ducks are reptiles! People are talking about it.
REPORTER: You mean to say that ducks — avians with warm blood — are the same as reptiles?
TRUMP: I’m telling ya. They’re reptiles.
Early October News Cycle
MAINSTREAM NEWS ARTICLE: “Trump Asserts That Ducks and Reptiles Are the Same. Experts Disagree.”
RIGHT-WING BLOG: “Trump CRUSHES MSM Reporter Trying to Silence Him.”
EVEN MORE RIGHT-WING BLOG: “Sorry Libtards. Ducks ARE Reptiles.” [With Pepe the Frog face posted on an illustration of a duck.]
LEFT-WING BLOG: “OUTRAGEOUS — Trump Calls Ducks Reptiles.”
FACT-CHECKING WEBSITE: “Trump’s Claim That “ducks are reptiles” Receives our Five-Multicolored-Pinocchios-Merged-Together-to-Form-Voltron Rating.”
THINK-PIECE ARTICLE: “Trump Has a Point — Birds and Reptiles are Closely Related in an Evolutionary Sense.”
Mid October News Cycle:
MAINSTREAM NEWS ARTICLE: “What Will Lizard-Duck-Gate Mean for the Election?”
RIGHT-WING BLOG: “Clinton Once said Ducks Were Geese. MSM Stayed Silent.”
LEFT-WING BLOG: “John Oliver EVISCERATES Trump for Lizard-Duck-Gate.”
THINK-PIECE ARTICLE: “Don’t Blame Trump for Lizard-Duck-Gate, Blame America’s Failed Education Policy.”
Late October News Cycle:
FACT-CHECKING WEBSITE: “Congressman’s Claim That ‘Trump Doesn’t Know What Ducks Are’ is Rated a-Half-Goldilocks-Truth.”
THINK-PIECE ARTICLE: “Ducking Responsibility: How Trump Controls His Media Coverage: Part 2.”
RIGHT-WING BLOG: “’Goosing’ Hillary to Tell the TRUTH About Benghazi.”
LEFT-WING BLOG: “10 Times Trump Has Called Ducks Birds.”
MAINSTREAM NEWS ARTICLE: “2016 Race Continues to Tighten as GOP Rallies Behind Trump”
Late October Interview:
TRUMP: Earthquakes are caused by Molemen!
REPORTER: But what about the entire field of geology?
TRUMP: Listen. I know what I’m talking about. It’s Molemen. Molemen!
Approximately Five Billion Years Later
The sun will expand into a red giant, erasing Earth from existence.