The Settings That Would Be On a Blender Today If the Blender Had Been Invented, Say, 100 Years Before Its Actual Invention Date of 1922

McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

Join our Patreon at $10/month (or more) and receive a coupon for a discount on the Decorative Gourd Beanie, Gourd mugs, and our glorious new Advent Calendar. Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free.

Cleave

Conmix

Commingle

Interlard

Fashion Into a Thick, Uniform Paste

Engruel

Rend Asunder

Fragment

Thresh With Surpassing Rapidity

Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.

Become a patron

Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack

Trending 🔥

November 8, 2024

Updates on the Arc of the Moral Universe

by Amanda Lehr
November 6, 2024

Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad

by Carlos Greaves
November 6, 2024

I Don’t Hate Women Candidates. I Just Thought an Erratic and Vindictive Criminal Was Worthier of My Vote Than a Woman Candidate

by Devorah Blachor
November 8, 2024

Finally, the Elites Have Been Defeated by the Billionaires

by Eli Grober

Recently

November 21, 2024

Linda McMahon Is Ready to Pile-Drive the Department of Education

by Riane Konc
November 20, 2024

The Sirens Are Unionizing

by Andrew Patrick Clark
November 20, 2024

Is It a Red Flag?: Romeo and Juliet Edition

by Amy Greenlee
November 19, 2024

The Story of the First No-Nut November

by Pat Cassels

McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON

The Settings That Would Be On a Blender Today If the Blender Had Been Invented, Say, 100 Years Before Its Actual Invention Date of 1922

by Steve Schneider

Understanding the Seattle SuperSonics by Comparing Them to Girls You May Have Dated in College

Bit Bit, Speak!: A Monologue From the Canine Companion Of Britney Spears And Kevin Federline

Suggested Reads

Trending 🔥

Recently