Things Which Smell Good, But Which Nevertheless Should Not Be Made Into Candle Scents

ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE

Young reader in your life? Subscribe to Illustoria magazine today. Recognized by The New York Times as a best gift for kids!

Potato salad
Bean burritos
Baked ham
Cream of mushroom soup
Newly washed hair
Freshly applied deodorant
Just-shaved Grandpa
Sleeping baby
Whiskey sour
First cigarette of the morning

Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.

Become a patron

Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack

Trending 🔥

October 15, 2024

I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About

by Sam Woods
October 28, 2024

The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets

by Katryn Bury
September 20, 2024

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers

by Colin Nissan
August 19, 2024

Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056

by Ben Parker, Stephanie Steinbrecher, Kelsey Ronan, John McMurtrie, Sophia DuRose, Rachel Villa, and Amy Sumerton

Recently

November 4, 2024

Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day

by Amanda Lehr
November 4, 2024

270 Reasons: Because There Are No Rights, No Freedoms That Some Extremists Won’t Try to Take From Us

by Christian F. Nunes
November 4, 2024

Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care

by Jennie Egerdie
November 3, 2024

Based on Our Election Forecast, We Are 100 Percent Sure Anything Could Fucking Happen

by Tom Ellison

ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE

Things Which Smell Good, But Which Nevertheless Should Not Be Made Into Candle Scents

by Ebony Adams and Julie deGroot

The A-Team Resolves Lapses in Homeland Security

Logging Terms You Wouldn’t Want to Use at a Debutante Ball

Suggested Reads

Trending 🔥

Recently