Consider becoming PTA president instead. We’d really be more comfortable with that.
Tell hesitant campaign donors that you only expect 78 percent as much money as they would give a similarly qualified man. If you’re African-American, only ask for 64 percent.
When an interviewer compliments your hair, give the credit to the wild beauty of menstruation.
Apologize excessively for things that aren’t your fault like the disappointment of the last Iraq war and the next Iraq war and hyper-sexualized dadbods.
If you’re more conservative, make sure you don’t look too much like Tina Fey or a similarly empowered funny lady.
Try your best to be conventionally pretty. Not hot, though—that’s distracting. Shoot for a solid 6.5.
Remember: It’s really what’s on the inside that counts (your ovaries).
Create a Pinterest board of ways you would redecorate the Oval Office. Include framed inspirational quotes by Beyoncé in order to rope in her eternally single, contraception-gobbling voters.
And if all else fails, take your ambitions to a place more historically accepting of female heads of state like India, Liberia, Pakistan, or any country in dystopian young adult fiction.