“The decade is about to end. What notable things did you do in the last 10 years?” — @GabbarSingh, 11/13/19
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In the last decade, I…
- Became a governess at Thornfield Hall
- Heard eerie laughter
- Got engaged to Rochester
- Found out he was married on my wedding day
- Ran away and inherited $$$
- Returned to the burned ruins of Thornfield
- Got married to Rochester because his wife died
2.
- Didn’t catch any fish for 84 days straight
- Was shunned by my village
- Went fishing in the Gulf Stream to break my bad luck
- Became a spiritual brother to a giant marlin
- Hallucinated a lot
- Killed a bunch of sharks who ate my fish
- Sure, NOW I’m a hero, you mofos
3.
- Fell in love w/ a wild orphan
- Married a boring loser instead
- Needed a therapist but not invented yet
- Saw my first love marry my SIL
- Had baby girl
- Died
- Touched everyone w/ my cold ghostly fingers lol
- Made Heathcliffe drop dead, whoops
4.
- Went away to boarding school
- Made two new friends
- Didn’t get good grades
- Had to wear ruffled hand-me-down robe to dance
- Saw a bunch of people die
- Helped best friend save the world
- Married WAY WAY up
5.
- Lost the beloved lady of the house in a boating accident
- Saw my master remarry some basic bitch
- Psychologically tormented her
- Convinced the moron to wear Rebecca’s costume at a fancy-dress party
- Almost got her to jump out the window lol
- Burned down Manderley
6.
- Got trapped on an island
- Learned you could blow a conch (not that way)
- Freaked about some beast in the woods
- Accidentally helped beat Simon to death — oops!
- Saw a pudgy kid get smashed w/ a boulder
- Was chased by homicidal maniacs
- Said bye losers!
7.
- Found out my dad died
- Got mad because my mom married my uncle
- Saw my dad’s ghost
- Pretended to be insane
- Found out my BFFs were spies
- Drove my girl mad; she drowned herself
- Killed Polonius, argued w/ my dad’s ghost
- Saw my mom drink poison
- Killed my stepdad
- Got stabbed
- Died
8.
- Danced with a LOT of officers
- Dropped my handkerchief
- Giggled
- Made a spectacle of myself at the Netherfield Ball
- Embarrassed my sisters (so uptight lol)
- Went to Brighton to visit my aunt (so there, Lizzie)
- Eloped with a super-hot guy (my sister’s ex)
- Made all my sisters SO jealous
9.
- Went to a faculty party
- Invited a young professor and his wife back
- Drank too much
- Got “shot” by my husband with a fake gun
- Fought in front of guests
- Tried to screw the professor but he couldn’t get it up
- Lost my fake son when my husband killed him off