McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Andrew Humphries
Andrew Humphries lives in Jackson, Mississippi.
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January 30, 2025Was It Cake?
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January 16, 2025A Pre-Game Pep Talk by a College Football Coach Who Recently Audited a Class on Nietzschean Thought
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October 10, 2024I’m the “Scoopy Daddy”: Clarifying My New Approach to Parenting
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September 14, 2023Our Kitchen Renovation, Which We Started Five and a Half Years Ago, Is Back On Track
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April 6, 2023Now That We Can Hire Children, Here Are Some Revisions to Our HR Policy
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February 21, 2023Yes, Of Course I Know What Escrow Is
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally