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Articles by
Christian Lynch
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July 22, 2019The 2020 Democratic Presidential Candidates Easily Explained Through the 1998 Vampire Action Movie, Blade
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January 26, 2012New Hire Form Letter For the Modern American Worker
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September 28, 2011Aging Action Star Loses His Edge
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January 24, 2011How Many Times Must I Blink “I’m Sorry”?
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June 15, 2010Mrs. Yates’ 3rd Grade Class Receives a New Message from Space
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April 23, 2010An Apology from the Maker of Fun ’N Easy Edible Frozen Pizza Treats
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March 1, 2010Coffee Bean Comment Cards as Written by a Recently Laid-Off Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien Staffer
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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