The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Eli Grober
Eli is the author of the satirical essay collection This Won’t Help, listed on the New Yorker’s “Best Books We Read This Week.” He writes the humor newsletter Here’s Something.
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March 11, 2025“He’s Just Trolling Us,” I Say as I Pay Two Hundred Dollars for Eggs and Our Town Gets Measles for the Second Year in a Row
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February 12, 2025We’re Being Maximally Transparent. For Instance, We [REDACTED]
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January 6, 2025This Threat to Democracy Must Be Certified
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December 12, 2024Here at Time Magazine, We’ve Decided This Is Another One of Those Years We Pick a Person Who Fucking Sucks
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November 14, 2024I’m Putting Together a Team. The Worst Fucking Team of All Time
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November 8, 2024Finally, the Elites Have Been Defeated by the Billionaires
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May 31, 2024HELP PROVE I DID NOTHING WRONG BY SENDING ME MONEY IMMEDIATELY
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March 29, 2024Hi, I’m Jesus, and When I Get Back, I Want All the Eggs Hidden
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December 6, 2023Answering Questions at the Climate Summit After My Speech in Support of Oil World
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October 24, 2023We Must Give Equal Airtime to the Democratic Incumbent and the Guy Who Wants Everyone to Drink Their Own Piss
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September 7, 2023For Just Forty Hours a Week of Intense Work Outside Your Full-Time Job, You Too Can Make Passive Income
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June 9, 2023HELP PROVE I’M INNOCENT BY SENDING ME MONEY IMMEDIATELY
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
Recently
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March 28, 2025Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied
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March 28, 2025Brutally Honest Emails from Academia.edu
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March 27, 2025We Are the People Who Buy Red Delicious Apples
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March 27, 2025A Letter from Believer Editor Daniel Gumbiner