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Articles by
Jason M. Mustian
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December 21, 2010I Swear to Fucking God, If I Come Home This Christmas and Find Out My Parents are Still Unplugging Their Computer From the Wall When They Want to Turn It Off, I Will Fucking Snap
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January 21, 2010My Roommate’s Apparent Step-By-Step Method For Turning Off My Alarm Clock When I’m Out Of Town
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally