ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
John Flowers
John Flowers is a TV producer covering politics at MSNBC. He also writes humor for McSweeney’s and the New Yorker.
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November 22, 2019If You Ever Want to See Your Grandchild Again, You’ll Subscribe to Our New Streaming Network
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May 15, 2017The Secret White House Tapes
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February 14, 2017The CDC Has Issued a Quarantine Order for All the Lovey-Dovey Crap You See On Valentine’s Day
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December 15, 2015Finding the Right Neurosurgeon for You
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August 13, 2015Donald Trump, Through the Ages
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August 27, 2014The Following Content is Sponsored by Your Parents
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October 23, 2013Bar Trivia Night
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July 11, 2013Obi-Wan, Can You Stop Saying “Sand People”? It’s Kind of Racist
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May 8, 2013A Message to Shareholders About Our New $70 Million Purchase of “Elevator Pass.”
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October 22, 2012Election 20,012 B.C.: Where the Candidates Stand On the Issues
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July 13, 2012Attention Cable and Satellite Subscribers: This Network is Being Dropped Because Your Provider is Being a Giant Douche
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June 6, 2012Prospectus for Silicon Valley’s Next Hot Tech IPO, Where Nothing Could Possibly Go Wrong
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November 8, 2024Updates on the Arc of the Moral Universe
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November 8, 2024Finally, the Elites Have Been Defeated by the Billionaires
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November 13, 2024Sure, I Voted for Someone Whose Policies Might Kill You, but Now’s the Time to Put Aside Our Differences
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November 6, 2024Here’s Why a Second Death Star Won’t Be That Bad
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November 22, 2024Reasons That I, a Trans Woman, Have Had to Use the Bathroom at My Workplace
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November 22, 2024Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Filmmaker and Musician Boots Riley
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November 22, 2024Something about President-Elect Nyarlathotep’s Unholy Rebirth Feels Weird, Right?
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November 21, 2024I’m a Good, Normal Family Man Who Just Wants to Inspect Your Genitals Before You Pee