ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
John Warner
From 2003 to 2008 John was editor of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and is now editor emeritus, a title he made up himself. He’s the author of numerous books including most recently Sustainable. Resilient. Free. The Future of Public Higher Education and The Writer’s Practice: Building Confidence in Your Nonfiction Writing. He writes a weekly column at the Chicago Tribune as his alter ego, The Biblioracle.
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February 24, 2021Frequently Asked Questions by Middle-Aged White Pundits About When it’s Appropriate to Use a Particular Racial Slur
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November 11, 2020The Unbearable Persistence of Whiteness: Ivanka Trump’s Post-White House Adventures
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October 8, 2020An Oral History of Donald Trump’s Famous “Everyone Wanted the Belt” Speech
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September 25, 2019The National Book Foundation Announces Its 2090 “3 Under 13” Awards
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July 2, 2018“We’re Assholes”: Sarah Huckabee Sanders Announces the Trump Doctrine from the White House Briefing Room
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May 29, 2018Frequently Asked Questions about Amazon’s Alexa Lick™
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May 22, 2018Jordan Peterson’s Now That’s What I Call Music!
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January 29, 2018I’m Worried My Doctor May Have Watched Episodes of ER Instead of Going to Medical School
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July 28, 2016Demands from California Delegation BernieBros to NOT Disrupt Hillary Clinton’s Acceptance Speech
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June 7, 2016Things Other Than Blatant Racism That May Cause Paul Ryan to Unendorse Donald Trump
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September 17, 2014A Story from John Warner’s New Collection, Tough Day for the Army
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September 27, 2012Are We Better Off Than We Were Four Years Ago?
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner