McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Kathryn Kvas
Kat is a writer in NYC, constantly achieving new underachievements.
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October 31, 2017The Ghost That’s Haunting Me Mansplains How Breathing Works
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October 5, 2017All the Reasons I Should Have Kids, Explained to Me By a Mother Whose House is Burning Down
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September 8, 2017Completely Valid Reasons Why I, Your Male Boss, Will Not Look You In the Eye During Meetings
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February 22, 2017Introducing the Jar No Woman On Earth Can Open Unless She’s Dating a Tall, Strong Man!
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January 25, 2017Now That the Sun Has Become a Giant Red Star Ready to Consume Our Planet, My Office Isn’t That Cold Anymore!
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January 6, 2017Congratulations, We’re Promoting You! And We Won’t Stop Promoting You Until We’ve Shattered Every Last One of Your Dreams Into a Million Sad Little Pieces
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
Recently
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner