ILLUSTORIA MAGAZINE
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Articles by
Louie Aronowitz
Louie Aronowitz is an award-winning writer, performer, and musician. He is very annoying, speedruns old Nintendo games, and one time stole Hans Zimmer’s lunch. Please hire him.
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July 31, 2024Lesser-Known Goals
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June 14, 2024Trolley Problem Variations for Dads
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February 13, 2023Candy Heart Messages After Elon Musk Buys Sweethearts for $44 Billion
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June 29, 2022First Drafts of Classic Movie Quotes
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March 22, 2022First Drafts of the Greatest Opening Sentences in Literature
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October 22, 2021Actually, Sandworm Attacks Have Only a One Percent Death Rate
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May 7, 2021Gregor Samsa’s DIY Mother’s Day Gift Ideas
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December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker