McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Luke Burns
Luke Burns is a writer whose work has been published by The New Yorker, New York Magazine, HAD, and in the books The Best of McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and Keep Scrolling Till You Feel Something. More at lukevburns.com.
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March 12, 2024An Excerpt from Pierre La Police’s Classic Comic Masters of the Nefarious
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May 4, 2023Yoda Botches Five Classic Jokes
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September 14, 2022The Secret to Great Writing Is Taking Dozens of Showers a Day
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June 18, 2020Celebrating the Hilarious Work of Brian Agler
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December 16, 2019Dr. Manhattan’s 12 Days of Christmas
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November 10, 2017Similes Involving Bad Similes
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February 9, 2015White Noise or White Noise?
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February 17, 2014Attempts to Find a Symbol for the Conflict Between My Screenplay’s Protagonist and Antagonist
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August 2, 2013Fragments from the Ancient Gospels of “The Church of a Pretty Good God.”
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May 13, 2013I’d Like To Take a Moment to Talk About the Plight of Drone Veterans
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December 19, 2012Audience Participation Cues for the My Dinner With André Midnight Madness Screening
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July 25, 2011The Birthday Clown Consortium Price Guide
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
Recently
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November 1, 2024I Will Be Away from My Desk on November 6
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November 1, 2024270 Reasons: Because on January 6, I Was More Afraid Working at the Capitol Than During My Entire Army Deployment to Iraq
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November 1, 2024Template for Donald Trump’s “I Don’t Accept the Election Results” Speeches
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October 31, 2024This Election Wouldn’t Be So Close If My Historically Unpopular Opponent Wasn’t Such a Shrewd Campaigner