McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Pat Cassels
Pat Cassels is an Emmy-winning writer, actor and comedian. He wrote for Full Frontal with Samantha Bee and CollegeHumor.
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March 5, 2024J. Robert Oppenheimer Is Gonna Party His Ass Off at the Oscars
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October 16, 2023What Do We Want…?
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August 30, 2023Say What You Want About Joseph Stalin, At Least He Wasn’t Old
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August 8, 2023Sorry to Interrupt This Wilco Festival, but There Are Some Bad IPAs Going Around
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March 2, 2007Words Never Used in the Titles of Remotely Good Films
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February 14, 2007Tom Skerritt’s Speech to the Cadets in Top Gun Is Probably Long Enough as It Is
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August 26, 2005Totalitarian Institutions That Would Have Been More Fitting for George Orwell’s 1984, Considering How That Year Turned Out
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June 24, 2005The Extended Family of Thespian Rip Torn
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May 18, 2005Embarrassing Things That Might Happen to You While Using a Lightsaber
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February 25, 2005A More Dynamic but Ultimately Inappropriate Version of Hal 9000’s Final Words from 2001: A Space Odyssey
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October 15, 2024I’m an Undecided Hobbit, Torn Between a Dark Lord Who Promises an Age of Chaos and an Elf Queen Whom I Just Wish I Knew More About
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October 28, 2024The Starfleet Gazette Will Not Be Endorsing a Candidate for President of the United Federation of Planets
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September 20, 2024It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers
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August 19, 2024Lest We Forget the Horrors: A Catalog of Trump’s Worst Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes: The Complete Listing: Atrocities 1–1,056
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November 4, 2024Don’t Worry—This Is Exactly How the Founding Fathers Intended You to Feel on Election Day
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November 4, 2024Eeyore’s Tips for Election Day Self-Care
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