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Articles by
Rick Stoeckel
Rick Stoeckel is a contributing writer to ClickHole and The Onion. He lives in Chicago with his wife, two children, and one cat, to which he is allergic.
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July 18, 2022Please Watch My Big Break as an Actor on a New HBO Drama Where My Character Is Dragged Nude Behind a Horse with My Penis Showing
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August 12, 2020Americans, We Have Defeated the Invading Alien Horde By Allowing Them to Completely Dominate Us
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February 15, 2019Spoiler Alerts From the Passenger Scheduled to Sit Beside You On Your Next Flight
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November 2, 2018I Am the Ultimate Outsider in this Election Because I Only Have a Vague Understanding of Politics
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April 25, 2017Lois Lane Explains White Male Privilege to Superman
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April 7, 2014The Father of Dragons
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January 4, 2011Spider-Man Speaks At Career Day
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August 30, 2010Do People Really Love My New Mustache?
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April 2, 2010Behind the Commandments: Moses’s Untold Story
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May 19, 2009E-Mail From Your Facilities Department
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June 17, 2008The Press Release for My Attempt to Break the Guinness World Record for Holding Breath Underwater
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February 26, 2008Letter of Recommendation for Rick Stoeckel, Who Was Homeschooled
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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January 20, 2025Welcome Home, President Nyarlathotep
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January 17, 2025Who Said It: Donald Trump or Martin Luther King Jr.?
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January 17, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Annie Leibovitz
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January 17, 2025It’s About Time Our Government Finally Reflects the Real America—An Airport Terminal at 10 a.m. on a Weekday