The Believer Magazine
Articles by
Sarah Hutto
Sarah Hutto is writer with a heart of gold and irritable bowels who lives in Maine. She has written for The New Yorker, Washington Post, and Reductress.
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October 28, 2024Spooky Sounds for the Socially Anxious
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July 10, 2024The Secret of Ancestor Fields Farm Is Our Land. Also, Our Polygamy
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May 19, 2022I Regret to Inform You That I Can Get Pregnant with My Legs Closed
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May 28, 2021FAQ for Not Wearing a Mask
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January 20, 2021A Conservative’s Guide to Preparing for a Biden Presidency
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July 3, 2020The Fourth of July: Myth vs. Fact
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May 28, 2020What to Yell Instead of “Rape” In a Society That Has Collectively Decided Rape is Fine
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December 23, 2019What It Says About the Christmas Tree In the Bible
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November 21, 2019How to Get the Alpha Male to Shut the Hell Up So You and the Beta Can Bang
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October 1, 2019Guns Don’t Kill People. People Kill People. It’s Time We Get Rid of People
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May 10, 2019Barely Useful Mom Trivia
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November 2, 2018DIY Fall Centerpieces to Own the Patriarchy
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 5, 2025Here at DOGE, We’ve Streamlined Every Aspect of America’s Collapse
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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February 4, 2025An Accurate Organizational Chart of Your University
Recently
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 21, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Finding Win Ng
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February 21, 2025Why I Chose to Reenter the Matrix and Be a Living Battery for the Machines
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February 20, 2025Take Him Seriously, Not Literally