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Articles by
Tom Smyth
Tom Smyth is a writer from New York. His writing has previously appeared in the thank you notes from his high school graduation party. He enjoys reading, watching television, and writing about himself in the third person.
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December 19, 2024I Am Whoville’s Only Home Insurance Provider, and I Am So Screwed
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November 12, 2024How to Write a Book That Nicole Kidman Will Turn into a Limited Series
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August 16, 2024Oh Dear God, We Forgot to Let P!nk Down
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July 24, 2024Table Options for Your Dinner Reservation
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April 3, 2024Emails from My Dentist That Would Actually Make Me Schedule an Appointment
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February 27, 2024A Marketing Consultant Visits Mrs. Lovett’s Pie Shop
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December 22, 2023This Woman in Labor Is Gonna Love My Drumming
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September 7, 2023Types of Acting Still Permitted Under SAG-AFTRA’s Strike Rules
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May 31, 2022Excerpts from Ina Garten’s Anarchist Cookbook
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December 10, 2021We’re Sorry, You Can’t Join Our Street Gang Because You Don’t Know Ballet
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May 6, 2021I’m the Judge Who Approved the Custody Arrangement in The Parent Trap, But in My Defense, I Didn’t Think They Would Go to the Same Camp
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March 10, 2021Oprah’s Tell-All Interviews with Other Princesses
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December 20, 2024Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists
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December 19, 2024An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her
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December 19, 2024A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker