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Articles by
Tom Smyth
Tom Smyth is a writer from New York. His writing has previously appeared in the thank you notes from his high school graduation party. He enjoys reading, watching television, and writing about himself in the third person.
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December 19, 2024I Am Whoville’s Only Home Insurance Provider, and I Am So Screwed
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November 12, 2024How to Write a Book That Nicole Kidman Will Turn into a Limited Series
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August 16, 2024Oh Dear God, We Forgot to Let P!nk Down
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July 24, 2024Table Options for Your Dinner Reservation
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April 3, 2024Emails from My Dentist That Would Actually Make Me Schedule an Appointment
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February 27, 2024A Marketing Consultant Visits Mrs. Lovett’s Pie Shop
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December 22, 2023This Woman in Labor Is Gonna Love My Drumming
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September 7, 2023Types of Acting Still Permitted Under SAG-AFTRA’s Strike Rules
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May 31, 2022Excerpts from Ina Garten’s Anarchist Cookbook
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December 10, 2021We’re Sorry, You Can’t Join Our Street Gang Because You Don’t Know Ballet
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May 6, 2021I’m the Judge Who Approved the Custody Arrangement in The Parent Trap, But in My Defense, I Didn’t Think They Would Go to the Same Camp
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March 10, 2021Oprah’s Tell-All Interviews with Other Princesses
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January 15, 2025A Marriage Proposal Spoken Entirely in Office Jargon
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January 8, 2025Did You Even Consider Every Possible Lived Experience Before Recklessly Posting Your Chili Recipe on Social Media?
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January 9, 2025I Will Pay Any Amount to Not Pay My Taxes
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January 15, 2025Signs You Are a Gen-Xer Who’s About to Turn Sixty
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January 20, 2025Welcome Home, President Nyarlathotep
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January 17, 2025Who Said It: Donald Trump or Martin Luther King Jr.?
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January 17, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Annie Leibovitz
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January 17, 2025It’s About Time Our Government Finally Reflects the Real America—An Airport Terminal at 10 a.m. on a Weekday