McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON
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Articles by
Troy Doetch
Troy is a Deaf writing teacher from Rockford, Illinois who served as the Director of the Northern Illinois University Creative Writing Summer Camps. His son enjoys his stories about hungry space robots.
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May 17, 2024If Trump Wins, I’m Going to Have to Move to Canada to Be Closer to My Long-Distance Girlfriend, Lisa
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April 22, 2024I Tried IHOP’s Sonic the Hedgehog Menu So You Don’t Have to, But I Wish You’d Help Out Once in a While
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February 14, 2024Ten Things to Say at Your Next Meeting Instead of “To Piggyback off Your Idea”
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June 16, 2023reCAPTCHAs Written by Your Dad
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April 12, 2023At My Age, My Dad Was Almost Done with That Tom Clancy Novel
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June 9, 2022Job Posting for Junior Office Scapegoat
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May 17, 2022The Great Lakes Gatsby
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May 3, 2021It’s Me, God, and Yes, I Do Know What Brian Wilson Would Be Without You: Fine
Trending 🔥
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 26, 2025Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
Recently
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March 31, 2025I’m a Free-Thinking Centrist with Only Right-Wing Ideas
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March 31, 2025Son, I Forbid You to Join That Rowdy, No-Good Zorba the Greek Fan Club
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March 28, 2025Although I Voted for You to Be Turned into Soup, There’s No Reason We Can’t Be Friends Before You Are Liquefied
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March 28, 2025Brutally Honest Emails from Academia.edu