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All posts tagged
thomas-jefferson
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July 3, 2024How I Imagine the Drafting of the Declaration of Independence Would Have Gone If the Founders Had Been Eating Buffalo Chicken Pizza
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February 19, 2018Thomas Jefferson Asks for an Extension
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December 2, 2016If I Had to Make Out With the Founding Fathers Because Gary Sinise Was Threatening Me With a Gun, This is the Order I’d Go In
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January 26, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “People say President Jefferson had nineteen different mistresses. Dude, Jefferson had Chlamydia—no doubt.”
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July 5, 2011Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: How Do I Make a President?
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March 4, 2011Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: When Did Things Get So Mean?
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July 27, 2010Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: Can the President Take the Week Off?
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May 19, 2010Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: How Close Can I Get?
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May 7, 2010An Open Letter to the Gentleman Who Gave Us a Tour of Monticello
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January 6, 2010Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: What Did the Founding Fathers Smell Like?
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February 10, 2025Voting for the Mayor Who Promised to Blow Up the City Doesn’t Mean I Approve of the Mayor Blowing Up the City
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February 21, 2025Don’t Tread on Me—Unless You’re a Billionaire with a Ketamine Addiction, in Which Case I Enthusiastically Support It
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February 27, 2025“Democracy Dies in Darkness” Wasn’t a Warning; It Was Our End Goal
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February 13, 2025Finally, My Tax Dollars Are Being Used to Uncover Publicly Available Government Information
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March 3, 2025Other Things John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt Wished People Shouted at Him
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February 28, 2025An Open Letter to Lumon Industries Requesting to Please Kindly Insert the Severance Device in My Brain and Keep It on “Innie” Mode for the Next Four Years
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February 28, 2025Excerpts from The Believer: Resurrector: Black Square
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February 28, 2025The New Cair Paravel Times Editorial Board Reflects on the First Weeks of the White Witch’s Second Reign