The Believer Magazine
All posts tagged
thomas-jefferson
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July 3, 2024How I Imagine the Drafting of the Declaration of Independence Would Have Gone If the Founders Had Been Eating Buffalo Chicken Pizza
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February 19, 2018Thomas Jefferson Asks for an Extension
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December 2, 2016If I Had to Make Out With the Founding Fathers Because Gary Sinise Was Threatening Me With a Gun, This is the Order I’d Go In
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January 26, 2012Non-Essential Mnemonics: “People say President Jefferson had nineteen different mistresses. Dude, Jefferson had Chlamydia—no doubt.”
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July 5, 2011Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: How Do I Make a President?
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March 4, 2011Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: When Did Things Get So Mean?
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July 27, 2010Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: Can the President Take the Week Off?
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May 19, 2010Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: How Close Can I Get?
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May 7, 2010An Open Letter to the Gentleman Who Gave Us a Tour of Monticello
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January 6, 2010Chris White Answers Profound Questions About the Presidents: What Did the Founding Fathers Smell Like?
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March 24, 2025Lest We Forget the Horrors: An Unending Catalog of Trump’s Cruelties, Collusions, Corruptions, and Crimes
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March 18, 2025Senator Schumer Votes to Let the Big Wooden Horse into Troy
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March 26, 2025Excerpts from a Red-Hot Right-Wing Romance Novel
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March 25, 2025The Plan to Bomb the Middle East Finally Made It Out of the Group Chat
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April 2, 2025We’re Committed to Brokering Peace in Ukraine; Also We’re Invading Greenland
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April 2, 2025Increasingly Inconvenient MTA Service Advisories
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April 1, 2025I’m a German Citizen in 1933, and Is It Just Me or Is It Really Hard to Get Any Work Done Right Now?
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April 1, 2025An Open Letter to ICE Regarding My Potential Disappearance