1. “He’s never coming back, Barb.”
2. “I say you take that pleather chair of his and burn it right to ground.”
3. “From what I hear, she’s not even a certified yoga instructor.”
4. “You should get on the Tinder.”
5. “Were you even intimate? I mean, at the end. Sorry if that’s too personal. Was it big?”
6. “Let’s start a restaurant.”
7. “This is your next chapter!”
8. “Never trust a man with a full face tattoo, that’s what I always say!”
9. “His mother always struck me as peculiar.”
10. “You should take a trip and get your groove back like in that Angela Bassett film.”
11. “At our age what you really need is companionship.”
12. “Come to church with me. There’s a real hottie I want to introduce you. His name is Jesus Christ.”
13. “Crossfit is just a trend, you want to make a real change — it’s Curves or bust, baby!”
14. “I always thought he looked a little bit too much like your father, to be honest.”
15. “Are you keeping the pool table?”
16. [Flips water bottle in the air, attempting to make it land on its bottom.] "You know, from the internet!”
17. “Ya gotta laugh, Barb.”
18. “Girlsssssss Niiiiiiiiiiiight!”
19. “My dentist is single. He is Chinese.”
20. “You should look into wearing a fall.”
21. “Well at least YOU don’t have hot flashes!”
22. “Now that you’re single we should buy rape whistles together.”
23. “Two words for you: craft room.”
24. “I know I said it was a book club but mostly we drink wine. We’re so bad!”
25. “Who needs a man when you’ve got the Property Brothers?”
26. “You should ask one of the girls to move back in with you for a while.”
27. “God Barb, you’re brave.”
28. “You two reminded me of Goldie and Kurt. But I guess in the end you were just Susan and Tim. And that’s just fine. She has an Oscar!”
29. “Are you getting a dog? You should get a dog and name it Steve. Get it? Like, Steve’s a dog!”
30. “Let’s go to Chili’s. Apps and margs on me.”