6 Signs Your Newborn is Actually Just a Tube Sock Filled With Pennies

1. Staring
Newborns love to look at faces, especially yours. It is a hardwired survival instinct. But when your newborn stares into your eyes, is that love, or just the sun flickering off freshly minted pennies beneath a sock you’ve drawn eyes on?

2. Baby Talk
Is that the beautiful sound of your baby’s coos that are filling your heart with joy, or is it the jingling sound of change getting you excited to go to a CoinStar booth?

3. Smiling
When your newborn smiles at you, it is trying to say I love you. So, does your baby smile at you, or has the smile faded from too many cycles through the washing machine?

4. New Baby Smell
Everyone loves the smell of a baby, but what’s that? Copper and finger sweat?

5. Stranger Danger
Don’t be surprised when your newborn uses you as a shield when they meet strangers, because that’s a good sign of a growing attachment. Or it could be the sock has just become lopsided with the weight of coins rushing to one side.

6. Memory Loss
Do you remember having a baby? No? That’s probably because you filled up a tube sock with pennies, drew a couple of eyes and a smile with a Sharpie, and forgot about it.