Dear Lord, let this next week pass quickly.
Let no one give me a pat on the back, brush against my shoulder,
Or, for reasons unforeseeable at this moment, rub my calf.
Give me courage when I step into the shower.
Help me to position the sensitive patches away from harsh streams.
And let my thighs avoid beads of water that just trickle down but still make me sob and sniffle.
And give strength to this aerosol can of Solarcaine Cool Aloe Burn Relief Formula.
Help it live up to its reputation as the “#1 Sunburn Relief Brand”
So, when I go to bed, each minor adjustment doesn’t require careful consideration.
Lord Jesus, let my efforts not be in vain.
Let this severe burn result in a mild tan that lasts at least two weeks and isn’t too blotchy.
And please Lord, no more freckles.
Dear Lord, when my skin peels,
Let it come off in big sheets
Because they’re fun to peel.
But don’t let anyone see me do this, Lord,
Because it’s gross.
And help me to remember that feet get sunburned, too.
That sand doesn’t count as sunscreen
And that a feet burn may be the worst kind of burn.
One that ruins simple pleasures like walking, standing, or putting on socks.
And finally Lord, let me not be envious of those who don’t get sunburned.
Let me not be jealous of their tans.
But in your kind heart, Lord Jesus,
Let them at least get really bad allergies.
Amen.