There’s no place like home. This private basement bedroom is perfect for long weekends, holiday stays, or extended visits. Departure dates are flexible yet completely unnecessary. We can discuss them later.

THE SPACE

Relax and unwind from the stresses of working too much by staying in this charming Wisconsin oasis with all the comforts of home. Because it is your home. And will always be your home.

The cozy, wood panel-lined bedroom has everything you need to live and work comfortably for days, weeks, even years at a time. The lovingly curated space is well-appointed with a full-size futon, a 13" Symphonic TV with a built-in VCR, and an expansive library of tapes featuring your favorites like Beetlejuice, Newsies, and Tae Bo.

Enjoy the crisp new sheets, warm comforter, and cloud-like pillows because Buckley peed on your other ones. (Darn him. I know he misses you, too.)

AMENITIES

All towels and toiletries are provided in the shared bath down the hall. Indulge yourself in a spa-like experience with the mini soaps and shampoos I’ve collected over the years as a silver-level La Quinta Returns member. Then wrap yourself in a plush hug with new Martha Stewart towels that I found on clearance at Macy’s. (If you see Buckley sleeping on the folded towels, scoot him off. He knows better.)

You also have access to the fully stocked kitchen, so help yourself. There’s chili, tater tot hotdish, homemade chicken noodle soup, beef stew, apple pie, and butterscotch oatmeal cookies in the freezer for when you get hungry. Or Smart Pop, Funyuns, Bugles, Cheez-Its, and Peanut Butter M&Ms in the cupboard for when you get bored.

A wide range of refreshments are available as well, like bottled water, Folgers coffee, hot chocolate, Lipton Iced Tea, Diet Pepsi, and one bottle of Cherry Vanilla Coke Zero I bought by mistake.

No need to pack any clothes either because the bedroom closet is still bursting with your late ’90s high school fashions. I wasn’t sure what you wanted to keep. Like your prom dress. You only wore it once and just looked so beautiful in it. I didn’t have the heart to give it away. Maybe you’ll need it for a wedding or a date or a festive costume party.

AREA ATTRACTIONS

Conveniently located between Napa Auto Parts and Dr. Rogowski’s dentist office, you are literally steps away from vital self-care services. Dad thinks your car is due for an oil change, which is included in your stay. And Dr. Rogowski said she’d love to see you and will squeeze you in anytime.

Popular shops, restaurants, and nightlife are within a five-minute drive. The Valley View Mall still has a JC Penney, Express, and Bath & Body Works. I have coupons for all three if you need them.

Ardie’s Pub does trivia nights on Wednesdays. You are so smart that I bet we’d win every week. (And they have free popcorn.)

Kathy from next door said a Chinese place is moving into the vacant Applebee’s soon too.

The neighborhood is still very safe and tight-knit. Escape from your stresses and take a nature-filled walk. Just don’t go past the Craigs’ house because I saw on the news that a transient camp settled in the small patch of woods near where we used to go berry picking.

ACTIVITIES

There’s lots to do. Aunt Linda gave me the old wooden desk that was in her basement. It needs some light refinishing, and you are so creative and artistic. Probably wouldn’t take more than an afternoon if we did it together.

Or we could take a trip down memory lane and clean out your closet. There’s a big box of old family photos behind your letter jacket and graduation gown. Wouldn’t it be fun to teach me how to use the photo scanner you got me for Christmas last year?

Visit Grandma and Grandpa in their new assisted-living facility.

SELF CHECK-IN

Check-in is a breeze because you have your own key, and the spare is in the garage in the Hills Bros coffee can labeled NAILS.

Come home any time at any hour. Don’t worry about waking us up. Or if it’s easier, we can pick you up at the airport, train station, or drive down and get you. Dad just put new tires on the Jeep, so it’s all ready for a road trip.

OTHER THINGS TO NOTE

The vet said Buckley doesn’t have much time left, so if you’d like to see him, better get home soon. Same goes for Grandpa. Love you so much!