Arab Woman in Tech
hardtopronounce@gmail.com
(cell)not-fordates
www.linkedin.com/fuckthis

Experience

Silicon Valley Startup (July 2017 – present)
Team with one woman

  • Consolidated startup’s diversity efforts by being a “two-for-one”
  • Able to pretend Slack was down while being asked out by coworkers
  • Summarize why “THE Google memo" was ridiculous in three different languages

Big 4 tech company (longest two years of my life)
Making world’s richest men more money

  • Maintained silent nod when manager insisted only “diversity of thought” is important
  • Able to pretend company’s proprietary chat service was down while being asked out by coworkers
  • Clarified ethnicity monthly after “I’m from Boston” was not producing the desired results

Big bank in NYC (remember when summer was fun?)
THE Intern

  • Inspected unexpected nude photos of superior and adapted quickly by canceling all one-on-ones
  • Handled catcalls daily while walking with coworkers to lunch
  • Developed immediate head down response when hearing the phrase “intern season.”

Education

Top 10 university (Four years of this shit)
Computer Science Engineering, BSE

  • Never raised hand in class
  • Highest Distinction (top 3% of class), Dean’s list every semester

Skills

  • C++, Python, SQL, Solid poker face, Excellent ego stroker
  • Managing both software release cycle and to not ruin my mascara when I cry in the always empty women’s restroom
  • Great at being “Nice to look at for a change”

Additional

  • Corporate feminism club that forces my eyes into a constant roll
  • Enjoys hiking, traveling, and pretending to be somewhere else