Arab Woman in Tech
hardtopronounce@gmail.com
(cell)not-fordates
www.linkedin.com/fuckthis
Experience
Silicon Valley Startup (July 2017 – present)
Team with one woman
- Consolidated startup’s diversity efforts by being a “two-for-one”
- Able to pretend Slack was down while being asked out by coworkers
- Summarize why “THE Google memo" was ridiculous in three different languages
Big 4 tech company (longest two years of my life)
Making world’s richest men more money
- Maintained silent nod when manager insisted only “diversity of thought” is important
- Able to pretend company’s proprietary chat service was down while being asked out by coworkers
- Clarified ethnicity monthly after “I’m from Boston” was not producing the desired results
Big bank in NYC (remember when summer was fun?)
THE Intern
- Inspected unexpected nude photos of superior and adapted quickly by canceling all one-on-ones
- Handled catcalls daily while walking with coworkers to lunch
- Developed immediate head down response when hearing the phrase “intern season.”
Education
Top 10 university (Four years of this shit)
Computer Science Engineering, BSE
- Never raised hand in class
- Highest Distinction (top 3% of class), Dean’s list every semester
Skills
- C++, Python, SQL, Solid poker face, Excellent ego stroker
- Managing both software release cycle and to not ruin my mascara when I cry in the always empty women’s restroom
- Great at being “Nice to look at for a change”
Additional
- Corporate feminism club that forces my eyes into a constant roll
- Enjoys hiking, traveling, and pretending to be somewhere else