Band Names Rejected by the Smashing Pumpkins

McSWEENEY'S LITERARY ARTS FUND

Need a gift idea? Donate to McSweeney’s in a friend or loved one’s name. We’ll email you a specially designed certificate to print or email to let them know of your sparkling generosity. And from now through December 25, any donation will be doubled by generous donors.

Eating Candy

Wearing Costumes

Carving Pumpkins

Smashing Mailboxes

Egging Houses

TP’ing Front Yards

Drinking Schnapps

Razorblading Snickers

Shitbombing Principal Reynolds’ Beemer

Riding in Squad Cars

Calling Stepdad for Bail

Doing Community Service

Please help support our writers and keep our site ad-free by becoming a patron.

Become a patron

Subscribe to McSweeney’s Internet Tendency’s Substack

Trending 🔥

December 4, 2024

Your 2024 Therapy Wrapped

by Sasha Lubomirsky, Topher Lin, and Chan Lin
December 3, 2024

A Faculty Member’s Self-Evaluation at the End of the Semester

by B. McNulty
December 6, 2024

We Need to Save the Men

by Ginny Hogan
December 10, 2024

A Typical First Date with a Guy in Boston, Chicago, or New York

by Jus Kaplan, Jonah Nink, and Jack Stebbins

Recently

December 20, 2024

Great Philosophers on Santa’s Naughty and Nice Lists

by Amanda Lehr
December 20, 2024

An Art Nouveau Calendar for a Terrible Fucking Year

by Ali Fitzgerald
December 19, 2024

An Open Letter to Sarah from Love Actually, to Be Delivered In the Two Seconds Before She Answers Her Phone for the Second Time While Karl Is Tenderly Dry Humping Her

by Una LaMarche
December 19, 2024

A Producer Attempts to Pitch The Nutcracker

by Jeff Bender

McSWEENEY'S LITERARY ARTS FUND

Band Names Rejected by the Smashing Pumpkins

by Ryan Vaughn

Opening Sentences to A Tale of Two Cities Rejected by Dickens Before He Settled on “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times …”

The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust’s Personal Assistant

Suggested Reads

Trending 🔥

Recently