“Brad, we’ve waited a long time to tell you this. Now that you’ve reached the appropriate age, we need to let you know that your birth wasn’t planned. You were a boner.”
Despite his knowledge of the harsh Russian winter, Napoleon attacked during the cold months, and his troops were decimated. It was a boner that changed history.
“Oh, no big deal. He just forgot to send me that e-mail. It’s a pretty forgettable boner.”
“First you dropped your keys and then you spilled your beer bending over to pick them up. And now you’ve split your pants, too. Gosh, this boner just keeps on growing.”
“I can’t believe you built the cell tower in the wrong spot. Now we’ve got a 50-foot boner on our hands!”
Olshenski smiled defiantly as Radditch leveled the revolver between his eyes. “Don’t screw with me, Radditch,” he said. “You’ve only got six shots with that gun. And I heard every one of them go off.” A shot rang out and Olshenski dropped to the floor. It was a fatal boner.
“God can’t accidentally make a boulder so heavy he can’t lift it. It’s an impossible boner.”
Melissa held in her scream as she hid behind the tree. The zombie was close. She could hear his wet breathing and his clumsy stomping on the forest floor. Gathering her strength, she peered out quickly and saw the zombie. But he saw her, too. She shrieked and seemed stuck to her spot, immobilized by terror. Just then, the zombie snagged his pants on a nearby branch, ripping the old, decrepit fabric and exposing his naked, decaying body. Melissa’s horror quickly, madly turned to mirth, and she laughed. She had just seen a zombie boner. And then the zombie devoured her.