TO: All Employees
FROM: Human Resources
SUBJECT: Casual Sexism Fridays Policy
To all employees,
As you know, we recently expanded our Casual Fridays policy to include Casual Sexism Fridays. In addition to a more relaxed dress code, employees are now allowed to engage in mild discriminatory behavior (on Fridays only.) While this new policy has been met with enthusiasm, there are others who have voiced concerns (albeit mostly women) regarding this expanded policy. It seems much of the confusion revolves around what is considered “appropriately casual.”
We at BRO Corp., of course, take sexual harassment and women’s rights very seriously. This new policy is meant only as a community building and stress-relieving inducement for all employees, regardless of gender. So to avoid any inappropriate discrimination and/or harassment we offer the following guidelines. These standards are meant to help employees navigate the difference between office camaraderie and sexual harassment when it comes to this new Casual Sexism Fridays policy.
(PLEASE NOTE: This applies to Fridays only. BRO Corp. will not tolerate any form of sexism on any other day of the week.)
1. Compliments. While giving compliments on Fridays, priority should be given first to appearance, followed by intelligence and/or abilities. Also, adding the phrase, “for a woman” is acceptable.
a. While everyone appreciates nice words said about their appearance, occasionally these compliments can be misinterpreted and go beyond the “casual sexism” standards and be perceived as harassment. Please limit compliments to the following body parts: general appearance, hair, eyes, ears, hands, fingernails, smile. Please refrain from complimenting: buttocks, breasts, chest, lips/mouth, hips, abs, navel, thighs, genitals, anus, and feet.
2. Promotions. Here at BRO Corp. we strive to promote based solely on qualifications and experience. Except on Fridays. If a promotion happens to fall on a Casual Sexism Friday, gender will also be taken into consideration. On those days it will be assumed that women will not be as committed to long-term careers due to “family matters.”
a. Exception: A possible exception will be made based on your level of attractiveness. A “7” or above will receive additional consideration. Please consult with any male supervisor regarding your current attractiveness level.
3. Pay Scale. In general, pay will be equitable for all genders. On Fridays, however, female compensation will be pro-rated to 78.3% of their male counterparts.
4. Team Leading. On Fridays males will lead all meetings regardless of knowledge and qualifications for doing so. In addition, men will take credit for team accomplishments and work completed on those days.
5. Eye Contact. While it is social standard to maintain eye contact during social interactions, this rule is more relaxed on Casual Sexism Fridays. On these days, eyes are allowed to wander (momentarily) to other body parts. Please limit staring to no more than four seconds at a time.
6. Use of Epithets. On Fridays the following endearing terms are acceptable: “sweetheart,” “darling,” “honey,” “babe,” “doll,” “angel,” “gorgeous,” “princess,” and “hey you.” The following are not acceptable: “B-word,” “C-word,” “D-word,” “Whore,” “Slut,” “Sugar Tits.”
7. Chivalry. On Fridays, it will be expected that men will hold doors open for women regardless of convenience. Also, men are not allowed to enter or exit the elevator before a woman. In addition, female employees will not be allowed to lift anything more than five pounds in weight.
8. IT Department. Techs will speak in a patronizing tone only to female employees on Fridays. They will also be allowed to make jokes regarding women’s ability to understand complex technology.
9. Refreshments. If an office event/party falls on a Friday it is expected that a female employee will be responsible for supplying all refreshments. UPDATE: This rule applies to all days of the week.
10. Client Contact. When a client presumes that the female in the room is an assistant we ask that you please refrain from correcting until the following Monday.
REMEMBER: Casual Sexism Fridays is meant to offer temporary relief from the very strict harassment rules and guidelines that dictate current workplace behavior. By no means is it meant to demean you, ladies.
Hopefully, these guidelines will make the policy clear so as to avoid any and all claims of “harassment.” However, if behavior escalates beyond mere casual sexism into a more inappropriate level we will have to take a long, hard (no pun intended) look at this policy. Our employees come first (again, no pun intended) and we strive to make a safe and productive workplace for all genders and for all levels of attractiveness.