1. Fuck You, There’s a Sale On.
2. New This Week: Cigarettes and Horseshit.
3. Summer Savings That Can’t Save You From Yourself.
4. Reminder: Drink Until You Drown.
5. You’re Gonna Love… Thriving On Solitude.
6. Can’t Miss: What You Never Had.
7. Last Chance: To Make Something of Yourself You Son of a Bitch.
8. Announcement: Fuck or Die.
9. For a Limited Time Only: Your Life.
10. Guess What? Nothing. Absolutely Nothing.
11. How to Become What You’ve Always Hated.