Angels in America
Subject: SUBMIT, SUBMIT TO THE WILL OF HEAVEN
GREETINGS PROPHET
THE GREAT WORK BEGINS
I I I I KNOW THAT I CAN COUNT ON YOUR FINANCIAL SUPPORT
Waiting For Godot
Subject: Re: Short Wait Time
New email coming soon with info
Oedipus
Subject: Hot MILFs In Your Area
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Macbeth
Subject: Click here to become KING
This is a scam you did not earn being king I was not of woman born I have stolen you’re social security number pay me back at you”re convenience don’t try to contact the King’s guard or Birnam Wood will come to you”re house
Streetcar Named Desire
Subject: STELLLAAAAAAA!!! HEY STELLAAAAAAAA!!!!
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The Crucible
Subject: I SAW YOU WITH THE DEVIL — WARNING SINNER
This email carries a curse from the Devil. To save yourself, you must accuse (10) villagers of witchcraft by nightfall. THIS IS REAL. John Proctor deleted this email, and look what happened to him.
Lysistrata
Subject: THEY stopped the Peloponnesian War using ONE WEIRD TRICK
Join the movement #gurlboss #leanin #cleareyes #crossedlegs #cantlose
Glengarry Glen Ross
Subject: Secrets only true closers know
HEY. Did you think this was for you, you pathetic fuck? Do you think I’m fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I’ve seen you try to sell, you limp-dicked son of a bitch, and the only thing you’re going to close today is this motherfucking email.
UNLESS you sign up for my “ABC’s of Business” e-seminar. For the low price of $999.99 (twenty times less than my watch), you too can learn to be a salesman like me.
CLICK HERE TO ENROLL
A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Subject: WANT TO GET FUCKED UP?
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Death of a Salesman
Subject: FREE QUOTE: Get Simplified Term Life Insurance for $0.50/Month NOW*
Dear Beneficiary,
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Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Subject: E-Vite FUN party for married people
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Equus
Subject: Daniel Radcliffe nude pics CLICK HERE
This play is about a disturbed young man who blinds horses with a railroad spike. Shame on you.
Sincerely,
The Estate of Sir Peter Shaffer, Serious Dramatist
The Seagull
Subject: You’re heartless if this story doesn’t MOVE YOU
She loves the lake like a free and glow gull. She’s so happy 2 be herself and express herself and has such feminist seagull vibes. But a MAN ruins her life like shoots her like a seagull and now she’s gone.
Share if you agreeeee bois suck <3 <3
A Doll’s House
Subject: HELLO BELOVED FRIEND
Dear Respected SirMadam,
I understand this message will be coming to surprised you, but let me to extend my exalted thanks and please for your assist in a finance venture. I am Prince Nils Korgjoborg, who is a person who is alive. I am needing your assist in transfer a sum of 4.3 billion pounds for your safekeeping. Can I count by you to transfer 250 pounds into the checking account of my dear daughter, Nora Helmer? She will be reimburse you promptly, with many riches.
Thank you for participating in the finance venture of our mutual benefit.
Sincerely,
His Highness KorKjoborK
No Exit
Subject: You Have Been Invited to a Zoom Meeting
Start Time: Now
End Time: Never
Attendees: These absolute fuckers
Agenda: Welcome to hell, you pieces of shit