“‘If we had had confidence that the president clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said so. We did not, however, make a determination as to whether the president did commit a crime… The constitution requires a process other than the criminal justice system to formally accuse a sitting president of wrongdoing.” — Special counsel Robert Mueller, 5/29/19
Hey, Congress.
HEY.
LISTEN TO ME. ALL OF YOU.
I know this is inconvenient. I know what I’m about to tell you to do is hard, and complicated, and may not even, in the end, actually produce results. But I promise you, it’s never been more important to do what needs to be done. Do what, you ask?
DO YOUR FUCKING JOB.
DO IT. JUST TRY IT. DIP YOUR FUCKING TOES IN, AND LET US ALL KNOW HOW THE WATERS FEEL. WHAT’S THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN? ARE YOU GOING TO GET ASKED TOUGH QUESTIONS AT A TOWN HALL? IS CHUCK TODD GOING TO QUIZ YOU WITH CONCERN ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU SHOULD BE PRIORITIZING THIS? IS FOX NEWS GOING TO DECLARE A FATWA AGAINST YOU?
I’m sorry. I, in no way, mean to be aggressive or abrasive or imply that there are not enormous consequences to whatever happens next. This is a historical decision, no doubt, but it’s almost like HE’S THE FUCKING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA JUST DOING CRIMES WHILE YOU ARE ARGUING ABOUT CIVILITY.
JUST DO IT. WE’RE TIRED OF BEGGING. WE’RE EXHAUSTED OF CONNECTING THESE DOTS FOR YOU LIKE YOU ARE CHILDREN AT AN APPLEBEE’S COMPLETING GAMES ON THE MENU WITH CRAYONS. DO WHAT ALL OF US, WHETHER WE’RE TEACHERS, OR MUNICIPAL WORKERS, OR DOCTORS, OR LAWYERS DO EVERY SINGLE DAY. WE DO OUR JOBS. WE HAVE TO, FOR OUR CHILDREN, AND OUR CHILDREN’S CHILDREN. SO SHOW AN OUNCE OF FUCKING RESPECT FOR US, AND DO YOUR FUCKING CONSTITUTIONAL JOB.
Again, I apologize if I lack decorum here. It’s been a tough three years. We’ve seen real people demonized and driven into the shadows. We’ve seen children hunted, facing lives irrevocably damaged. We’ve seen bad things get worse, and bad people live their worst lives without consequence. So I don’t mean to sound accusatory, but IT’S TIME YOU GET OFF OF YOUR ASSES AND FUCKING DO IT.
I DARE YOU. WE DARE YOU. IS THAT WHAT THIS IS? A GAME OF CHICKEN, AND YOU’LL ONLY DO IT UNLESS WE’RE ABOUT TO BULLDOZE THE WHITE HOUSE AND REPLACE IT WITH A SHITTY GOLF CLUB? JUST DO IT. PRETEND LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT THIS COUNTRY AND YOUR ROLE IN IT. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO START. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO SHOW THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THE SUFFERING. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO BEGIN RECTIFYING YOUR MISTAKES. IT’S NEVER TOO LATE TO STEP UP AND SAVE OUR REPUBLIC.
Just do your fucking job.
Because if not.
We’ll find other people who will.