Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Justice

Justice who?

Justice over here in the corner, rocking back and forth and crying about the Supreme Court — WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Ivanka

Ivanka who?

Ivanka subvert feminism and destroy it forever.

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Park rangers

Park rangers who?

Yeah, that’s what I was wondering, weren’t they supposed to be running things by now?

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Bannon

Bannon who?

Shoulda Bannon this country when I had the chance and moved to Canada/Norway.

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Truthers!

How can you be sure?

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Razor

Razor who?

Razor hands if you sure will miss abortion being legal!

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Fake

Fake who?

Fake you and the clown car this administration rode in on .

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Russian

Russian who?

Russian to get to the pharmacy for my Xanax refill so can’t talk right now bye.

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Your personal data

Your personal dat—

TOO LATE.

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Nazis!

Wow, look at you all out in the open like that.

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Justin

Justin who?

Justin case you were wondering, we are putting entirely too much pressure on dogs to cheer us up right now.

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Obama’s tan suit

Obama’s tan suit who?

Short-term memory much, bro?

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

A terrorist

You’re just white, male, and troubled, silly. Run along now.

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Robin

Robin who?

Robin kids from their parents sure is a funny way of saying “All lives matter.”

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Dewey

Dewey who?

Dewey really need all y’all white ladies calling the cops all the time like you do? Dewey?

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Dana Loesch!

[turns out lights]

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Kanye!

Kanye who?

Kanye all agree that Bowie and Prince definitely saw this shit coming?

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Dozen

Dozen who?

Dozen really make good emotional sense to keep following Pete Souza on Instagram I’ll tell you that much right now.

- - -

Knock knock!

Who’s there?

Death

Death who?

Death comes for us all [whispers to self], but seriously why is it taking so long?