Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Justice
Justice who?
Justice over here in the corner, rocking back and forth and crying about the Supreme Court — WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Ivanka
Ivanka who?
Ivanka subvert feminism and destroy it forever.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Park rangers
Park rangers who?
Yeah, that’s what I was wondering, weren’t they supposed to be running things by now?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Bannon
Bannon who?
Shoulda Bannon this country when I had the chance and moved to Canada/Norway.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Truthers!
How can you be sure?
…
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Razor
Razor who?
Razor hands if you sure will miss abortion being legal!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Fake
Fake who?
Fake you and the clown car this administration rode in on .
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Russian
Russian who?
Russian to get to the pharmacy for my Xanax refill so can’t talk right now bye.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Your personal data
Your personal dat—
TOO LATE.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Nazis!
Wow, look at you all out in the open like that.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin case you were wondering, we are putting entirely too much pressure on dogs to cheer us up right now.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Obama’s tan suit
Obama’s tan suit who?
Short-term memory much, bro?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
A terrorist
You’re just white, male, and troubled, silly. Run along now.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Robin
Robin who?
Robin kids from their parents sure is a funny way of saying “All lives matter.”
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dewey
Dewey who?
Dewey really need all y’all white ladies calling the cops all the time like you do? Dewey?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dana Loesch!
[turns out lights]
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Kanye!
Kanye who?
Kanye all agree that Bowie and Prince definitely saw this shit coming?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dozen
Dozen who?
Dozen really make good emotional sense to keep following Pete Souza on Instagram I’ll tell you that much right now.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Death
Death who?
Death comes for us all [whispers to self], but seriously why is it taking so long?