Yo, bros! Think you’ve got what it takes to be one of our Omicronies? Find out why our brand-new, hotly talked about squad is on everyone’s minds (and in everyone’s nasal passages), and how you, too, can be swiftly recruited.
When was this chapter of Omicron founded?
We were established in late 2021, with our popularity surging worldwide ever since.
Why are you doing spring Rush?
Omicron didn’t get a chance to take full advantage of fall recruitment, so we’re urgently catching up. If you can’t tell, we’re crazy excited—and frankly, a little desperate—to land new members.
What kind of people are you looking to recruit?
While others like us prefer to roll with insolent, unvaccinated types, we’re proud to keep an open mind. We’re down for literally anyone. The minimum requirement is breathing.
What sets you apart from other variants of Greek life?
We’ve evolved slightly from the others who came before us.
What increases my chances of being recruited?
Positivity. The willingness to break through barriers. Wearing a mask for fifty-three seconds while walking into a restaurant and then taking it off to be around people breathing hot air out of their Omicron holes.
Are people doing crazy things to NOT be recruited?
Yes, they are refusing to do shots and chugging large amounts of urine, but joke’s on them because crushing kegs of Natty Light is crucial to #fratlife.
Are there groups Omicron has rivalries with?
The Brotherhood of BinaxNOW and the Fraternal Order of Urgent Care.
Is there a test required to join?
Kind of. The first test is being able to find one. The next test is doable either at home (let us know if you need to access our cheat files) or in person with a PCR test. You might even get recruited while waiting in line.
Sorry, but what does PCR stand for?
Bro, no one knows.
Does Omicron have fun bashes and social events?
“The more, the carrier,” as we like to say. We love doing mixers with the cuties at Delta Delta Variant and throwing themed ragers, like toga parties (where you just wrap yourself in a bedsheet and black out) and our famous anti-masquerade ball.
Does Omicron have a motto?
Inspired by the Backstreet Boys:
“We don’t care who you are.
Where you’re from.
What you did.
As long as you catch me.”
Do you allow hazing?
No, but things do get a little hazy. For example, those who are initiated (and even those who aren’t), usually don’t even know what day it is.
Who’s in charge?
At one point, the CDC was in charge. But the CDC just recently said, “YOLOOOOO!” and then crushed a beer can against their skull.
How does Omicron treat new pledges?
For the most part, we’ll be a little cold.
What happens after recruitment?
HELL WEEK.
What’s HELL WEEK?
We know this sounds lame, but it’s when you spend some time alone, recovering, reflecting on the last two years.
What does the rest of 2022 look like for Omicron?
Researchers are actively creating mathematical models to figure out what the future holds for Omicron. As long as the mathematical models are hot, we don’t care.
I signed up to be recruited simply by existing—why hasn’t Omicron contacted me yet?
Dude, we’ve got a looooot of good candidates to go through—we promise we’ll hit you up. Please… be patient.