The Great Gatsby,
by F. Scott Fitzgerald
They were careless people, Tom and Daisy—they bought regular kibble, even when specifically asked to get hairball control, and then retreated into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together and let other people clean up the mess that Mr. Fancybiscuits had made. When confronted, they only said, “Isn’t this why we have servants?”
Macbeth
by William Shakespeare
LADY MACBETH
Out, damned spot, out, I say! All the
Perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this
Carpet. T’was I cleaned up the last one. Methinks
I shall feign walking in my sleep—to bed,
To bed! Yet who would have thought Graymalkin
to have had so much puke in him?
Enter Macbeth
MACBETH
This is a sorry sight.
LADY MACBETH
Can’t hear you—sleepwalking.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
“The Tell-Tale Heart”
by Edgar Allan Poe
Above all was the sense of hearing acute. I heard all things in the heaven and in the earth. I heard many things in hell. But as for Puddin’, I assumed she was merely dry-heaving. I heard the noise—louder, louder, louder!—but I didn’t see anything come out of her, or obviously, I would have attended to it. I’m not some villain.
“Hope Is the Thing with Feathers”
by Emily Dickinson
I hope that this thing with feathers –
And also – I think – grass?
Shall tidied be by someone else –
(It’s green – and smells like ass – )
The Crucible
by Arthur Miller
PROCTOR
Some dream I had must have mistaken you for God that day. But you’re not, you’re not, and let you remember it! Let you look sometimes for the goodness in me, and judge me not.
ELIZABETH
I do not judge you. But how did you not heed Young Goodman Whiskers—
PROCTOR
Who, verily, is more your cat than mine—
ELIZABETH
Three times! All over my most modest gown. I’d planned to wear it to go see my friends get hanged.
The Sun Also Rises
by Ernest Hemingway
“Oh, Jake,” Brett said, “we could have had such a damned good time together. If you would only scoop it up when it happens, and spray the area with stain remover. It’s not that hard. Much like other things I could mention.”
The car slowed, suddenly pressing Brett against me. Inside his carrier, Tiger groaned like a dying bull.
“He eats too fast,” Brett said. “The vet recommended a special food bowl that would make him slow down. That might fix everything.”
“Yes,” I said. “Isn’t it pretty to think so?”
Wuthering Heights
by Emily Brontë
“Mrs. Heathcliff is my daughter-in-law,” said Heathcliff. “She married my son, Linton Heathcliff.”
Thereat began a feeble scratching outside.
“And that,” he continued, opening the door, “is my cat, Heathcliff. I named him for the serialized cartoon in the penny papers.”
“I don’t understand that one anymore,” I remarked. “Sometimes he just wears that helmet with the word ‘meat’ on it—what’s the joke?”
Feline Heathcliff came in from the moors and squatted before us. He fell sick—cascades of vomitus splattered the walls. My host’s black eyes gleamed.
“At last,” he murmured, “my revenge on this house is complete.”
Uncle Vanya
by Anton Chekov
VOITSKI
Oh, my child, I am miserable; if you only knew how miserable I am!
SONIA
What can we do? We must live our lives. (A pause). Yes, we shall live, Uncle Vanya. We shall live through the long procession of chunks before us and through the long retchings; we shall patiently bear the spew that fate imposes on us; we shall scrub it without rest; and when our last hour comes, we shall meet it humbly, and there, beyond the grave, we shall say that we have suffered and wept, that our life, like little Fluffsky’s bile, was bitter, and God will pity us. Ah, then dear, dear Uncle, we shall look back upon all that was regurgitated here—and—we shall rest. (SONIA kneels before her uncle. She speaks in a weary voice.) We shall rest. We shall rest. We shall rest.
The curtain slowly falls.