“Medicare for All has been the clearest dividing line in a primary that has skewed progressive. The most heated debates on the stump — and among liberals on its periphery — have centered on whether the next Democratic president should seek to revamp President Barack Obama’s landmark health care law or effectively blow it up in favor of a radical remaking of the nation’s health care system.”
— CNN, 6/27/19
As the Democratic candidates are making clear, the radical left wants to put the federal government between you and your ghostbuster. Sure, Ghostbusters-for-All sounds great on paper, but here are five reasons why it’s a poor solution to the problems faced by our haunted nation.
1. The American people shouldn’t foot the bill for those who carelessly welcome demons and spirits.
If you’re like me, you already do a pretty good job warding off negative energy. Why should I have to open my wallet for those who refuse to sanctify their abode with even the most basic incantations? Plus, with Ghostbusters-for-All, the American people would be subsidizing everyone who calls a ghostbuster just because they have a shadowy presence. In the old days, we all just learned to live with a little spookiness. A haunted house isn’t going to kill you.
2. What’s wrong with wealthy Americans having access to the best ghostbusting in the country?
Look, there are always going to be people of means who can afford to rid their homes of each and every forgotten soul. They have earned a ghost-free home, and we should celebrate that, because this is America. You always hear, “Well plenty of other countries have universal ghostbusting.” And while that’s true, they also have extensive catacombs. Not in my country.
3. What about people who disagree with ghostbusting for spiritual reasons?
Many religious institutions feel very strongly that their parishioners must not contribute to the purging of mysterious ectoplasm. Ghostbusters-for-All will put our tax dollars towards practices that violate our beliefs. If you want to rid your domain of phantoms and ghouls, you can do that on your own dime. We must respect the viewpoints of our fellow Americans who believe that busting a ghost is murder.
4. It’s wrong to compel the labor of the ghostbusters
Everyone knows an overworked ghostbuster. If we force ghostbusters to bust ghosts for less pay, they will only cut corners, producing a society with even more poltergeists than we started with. If you take the time to earn an advanced degree in necromancy, you should be able to choose where and when you combat the forces of darkness.
5. Competition between ghostbusters mean more choices and fewer ghosts.
Rather than a one-size-fits-all program, Americans deserve the freedom to pore over the details of each company’s ghostbusting plan, like whether they cover sepulchers or how much an exorcism is going to cost. While determining how best to protect your family from mortal danger, it’s better to have an endless variety of choices and options. Because when you’re being attacked by phantoms and ghouls, you should be able to decide "who you gonna call.”