“The Trump administration is expected to purchase $400 million worth of armored Tesla vehicles, according to a new State Department document detailing procurement for fiscal year 2025”— NPR
How lucky are we ordinary Americans to be living in the Age of Trump? Our president is sticking it to the globalist elites by giving the world’s wealthiest man a huge government contract. What a far cry from the days of Democrat corruption. It’s like we were living in darkness, only to emerge into this bright and blinding light where we literally refuse to see what’s in front of our eyes.
I bet those liberal dullards are wondering how we’re going to pay Elon Musk for all those overpriced Cybertrucks at the exact moment when the government is supposed to be cutting back. But that just shows how stupid they are, because there’s all this extra money floating around now that NIH funding has been gutted. Sure, we’re sabotaging medical research and losing a generation of scientists, but it’ll all be worth it once those sweet military vehicles are carrying Don Jr. to his next cocaine duck-hunting crypto party.
What an excellent ROI for Musk after he spent all that money to get Trump elected. It’s lucky he’s slashing so many different budgets, from foreign aid to public housing to transit. And in case anyone is confused by what’s being cut and how it’s going to impact them personally, everything is explained on the DOGE website, which was blank until Wednesday. Now, it’s as transparent and successful as all of Elon’s marriages, with some extra far-right climate denial thrown in.
Does it look bad for Trump to be giving his biggest donor a $400 million government contract? Not when you put it in the context of what the government ordinarily spends on other stuff. For example, SpaceX is getting billions of federal dollars, which makes the Cybertruck money look like small potatoes—the very thing we’ll all be eating exclusively in about a year, thanks to all this great governing.
And don’t forget , even as they cut programs helping the vulnerable and send thousands of federal workers onto the unemployment line, Donald Trump’s family will also be taken care of generously. So what more do we regular Joes need to feel secure? His billionaire cabinet can rest easy as well, and once their fortunes are further bloated, trickle-down economics will definitely send some scraps to the rest of us. That’s what we MAGA voters like to call Trump math, which is so much easier to do now that they’re shutting down the DOE.
Remember , government welfare is evil unless the money goes to the wealthiest man in the world. It’s just upsetting that so many liberals can’t see how much Trump and Musk are helping us common people by buying this fleet of government-subsidized militaristic monster vehicles. And they look so futuristic, especially when they rust after coming in contact with direct sunlight.
Trump and Elon are Making America Great Again. There is no better way to symbolize our nation’s current greatness than these ludicrous, excessive, and utterly pointless Tesla Cybertrucks. At $82,000 a pop, they have already been recalled because of defective accelerator pedals. What could possibly go wrong?