Hi, I’m the Loud American Guy at Your Hostel

Hi, I’m the loud American guy at your hostel who was really charming in 10th grade English class and now I am 32.

I’m wearing an Adidas tank top and maybe AllBirds that I bought off a Twitter ad.

I really want to engage every single person near me in conversation. I think being charming is the best way to make someone feel at ease, especially because I am a white man. I talk to people to make them feel safe. When you hear a man’s voice, you know they’re not a threat.

I have a mandala tattoo on my upper right bicep, I got it in my last yoga retreat. This is my fifth yoga retreat. I find that really focusing on the mind helps being mindful and learning mindfulness.

Do you feel comforted by me? I hope I make you feel comfortable, I’ve been working on boundaries with my guru. He lives in Singapore and we FaceTime.

My name is probably Marco, or Dante, and my favorite possession is my Hydro Flask. I’ve got a sticker of every National Park I’ve been to on it. I haven’t climbed Mt. Whitney — I got that one from my ex-girlfriend. She bought it on Etsy.

Have you heard the latest Lil Uzi Vert track?

What do you think about modern art and Instagram? I only post posts framed in white borders. They are all sized 1×1 and of street graffiti that I’ve seen on my Kayak flight + hotel trips. I’d never do a sponsored post but MVMT watches keeps asking me to. I just don’t feel like my identity should be monetized.

This is the WiFi password, by the way. What are you doing tomorrow? I’m trying to get a group together to go on that hike at sunrise. I think we’ll head out between 2 and 7 a.m.

What are you reading? I’m reading The Power of Now. It’s by Eckhart Tolle. He’s like Alan Watts, who’s like the Buddha but for American people. How far are you in your book? Is that Joan Didion? Did she write When Harry Met Sally?

Are you on WhatsApp? Just add me on Instagram. I’m @marcotravelll. That’s “travel” with three l’s. I have a private profile. I was getting followed by a lot of bots, you know they’re bots because when you DM them, they send you a Skype link and their Venmo. Do you have Venmo?

I forgot my wallet, do you mind paying for this smoothie bowl and I can Venmo you? Venmo is a lot more secure than PayPal. I use PayPal for Facebook birthday fundraisers, though.

Have a good night! It was great talking at you. I’ll see you on the hike, right?