Because even the guy who dies first thinks he’s the main character. Guess the movies from their skewed summaries, and check your answers at the bottom.

1. Finally, a Hot FBI Agent Asks Me About Cocoons

2. A Naked American Man Stole My Balloons

3. The Wonderful Hat and the Police Chief with No Taste

4. Why I Will Never Tote Sheets of Plate Glass in This Town Ever Again

5. I Showed Up to the Beach Party in My Cute Jumpsuit, and No One Else Was There

6. Well, I Thought It Was Funny, Barbra

7. That Sobbing Englishman Won’t Stop Following Me

8. Where’s My Damn Secretary

9. The Underpaid Gym Teacher and the Shameful Waste of Tampons

10. Help—My Girlfriend Is Hooked on Caffeine Pills

11. My Hot Furry Weekend and That Weirdo Caretaker

12. The Negligent Babysitter and the Unattended Children

13. This Laundry Room Window Is Too Damn Small

14. The Line for the Mall Is Too Damn Long

15. It’s Not a Dog, You Idiots

16. This Airbnb Isn’t Wheelchair-Accessible

17. Stop Asking Me Trivia Questions—I’m at Work

18. I Went Swimming by Myself, and My Mom Got Really Mad

19. Wait, Are There Nuts in This?

20. Those Kids Won’t Stop Tapping on the Goddamn Walls

21. That Time I Won Hide and Seek, and Then We Had a Bonfire

22. I Should Definitely Poke This with a Stick

23. Our Only Friend Is a Goat

24. Who Are You, How Long Was I Out, and Why Does It Smell Like Car Air Fresheners

25. Just Move the Headstones, It’s Cheaper

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Key

1. Noble Pilcher and Albert Roden, The Silence of the Lambs

2. Little Boy, An American Werewolf in London

3. Harry, Jaws

4. Truck Driver, The Omen

5. Jeremiah (tethered on beach), Us

6. Johnny, Night of the Living Dead

7. The Dwarf, Don’t Look Now

8. George Lowery, Psycho

9. Miss Collins, Carrie

10. Glen Lantz, A Nightmare on Elm Street

11. Roger the Dog Man / “The Man in the Bear Suit,” The Shining

12. Curt Duncan, When a Stranger Calls

13. Annie Brackett, Halloween

14. Any zombie, Dawn of the Dead

15. Lars, The Thing

16. Franklin Hardesty, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

17. Casey Becker, Scream

18. Jason Voorhees, Friday the 13th (or Alex Kinter, Jaws)

19. Charlie Graham, Hereditary

20. The Upstairs Neighbor, Let the Right One In

21. Rowan Morrison, The Wicker Man

22. Barney/Old Man, The Blob

23. Mercy and Jonas, The VVitch

24. Victor Allen (“Sloth”), Seven

25. Mr. Teague, Poltergeist