I am “why do I need Venmo?” years old.

- - -


I am “hurt myself putting on my pants” years old.

- - -


I am “1.5 glasses of wine” years old.

- - -


I am “super into dogs and clogs” years old.

- - -


I am “excited about composting” years old.

- - -


I am “looking at bathroom renovation porn” years old.

- - -


I am “can’t digest cheese” years old

- - -


I am “thrilled about getting a new stove” years old.

- - -


I am “ergonomic backpack” years old.

- - -


I am “turning into my mother” years old.