Roles I Imagine I am Auditioning for When I Shop at Whole Foods - McSweeney’s Internet Tendency

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Guy Struggling with Soup Lid

Man Waiting Impatiently for Carob

Hummus Prick

Guy Who Needs Bathroom Code

Husband Curious About Starfruit

Man Sheepishly Taking the Last of the Bulk Spinach

Know-It-All Dismissing “Nutrition” Bars

Hesitant Sushi Picker

Office Worker Digging for the Cheapest Piece of Parmigiano Reggiano

Man Disturbed by Total Bill

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